DISPOSABLE INCOME

I was cruising the web today, and I discovered my new favourite doll collector, Dolores. She has an outstanding collection, and shoots her dolls in a grey, dismal light that connotes serial killing, depression, and divorce-actually that's a bit harsh, but there is something unnerving about solitary dolls and bad lighting. I was taken by the Nancy Reagan doll, and her uncanny resemblance to Rexella Van Impe. Don't think for a second that this isn't on purpose.

MY OWN PERSONAL TIPPING POINT

In regards to the latest Vanity Farm post I'd like to take minor credit for Pinky's use of charlatan. Yes, I'm that guy. Right here, right now. You know why? Cos I'm in the process of hunting down one of the greatest modern day charlatans, Jim Callahan. Master magician, and founder of Applied Thought Technologies. I'm close too. He wrote me back on Monday, unfortunately I was bogged down with the latest issue of the magazine, so I haven't had the chance to pose my questions - which are great by the way. Where the hell did my humility go? Apparently sleeping in on a weekday turns me into Mick Jagger on a coke binge circa 1978 - relatively speaking.
There was a party on saturday.
Some chumps stole a giant bottle of vodka...
This guy passed out around 9pm. What an animal!

PISS STINK AND TOURISTS : LE METRO DE PARIS

Whenever I have friends in town for a visit (like once, but fuck it that totally qualifies as a trend) I don't pick 'em up, I make then take the RER/Metro. The first thing they always say is "my god the piss stench is overwhelming in the metro" and I just shake my head, smile like an asshole and say "yes, you foolish tourist pig, the Parisian metro doesn't give a cu-de-rat about your precious olfactory system" But they're right, the piss stench cannot be ignored. The kind of smell that blasts you in the face, like when you happen to walk into the public library bathroom right before close, and all the hobos (hobettes??) are in the middle of their toilette. I remember being confronted by similar odors in the NYC subway, but not to the conversational level of Paris. One major source of stink is the metro clodo (French for hobo). While the RATP tries its best to make life difficult for the metro clodo (imaginative seat design, cops with dogs, children) they still manage to set up shop and harass the jerks. And seeing as they couldn't give a fuck about fuck, the metro is one big giant toilet for them. But let's make one thing clear, everyone thinks the metro is a giant toilet at their disposal (old habits die hard). Point is all the old urine flowing through the drain system in the metro makes for a visceral affront to one's nose. Alright it's probably not that bad, compared to a slum after an afternoon rainstorm in the middle of summer, but it's pretty awful.

SEXUAL SPORTSWEAR

Oh wow, as if this song wasn't cool enough, now there's a sleazy video directed by Guy Manuel de HOMEM-CHRISTO to add to the sexy mess. Haters begone. Sexual Sportswear isn't boring, it's perfect. The Vice UK reviewer was all wrong, but sometimes French sexualité makes people uncomfortable.

NEW HAT. SAME DREAM.

Ah winter in Paris. Gusts of wind, and so many rain variations. A personal favourite is the fog spritzer. Not heavy enough to make you hide, but just enough to make opening your eyes difficult and grimaces aplenty. This morning it was a light shower, though drops were perceptible. Luckily the market beside my place was a bustlin' so I decided to buy myself a new hat.
It might not look like it, but I'm really happy with my new chapeau. Will it replace trusty pink beret? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

FAMOUS SUNGLASSES

REASON 130578291 THE APOCALYPSE ISN'T SUCH A TERRIBLE THING

What is he teaching a great course at the community college How To Disappoint Your Parents 101? It's not that I condone physical violence, but don't you feel like smacking this dingus upside the head and/or enlisting him?


At least there's this kind of thing to counterbalance the horror.

BACK IN FRANCE

Ok so I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm an unreliable ghost friend. Yep, that plucky, loveable(?), go-getter has been replaced with a lazy, unfriendly, traphound (don't know what that means, well neither do I. Chances are it's slutty, or drug related? waitaminute!) Which brings me to the point
NEW WORDS THAT SOUND KIND OF GROSS TO BE USED AT LEAST ONE TIME IN 2008
Traphound
Curdlemuncher
Bramblebrowser
Trimzelate
See just like that you can sound weird and smart because I just made like a real life fake balderdash game for you. Now you don't have to hate me. It's like the greatest present of all, well other than a Dune buggy holiday adventure in the sun.
Maybe tomorrow I'll write something real.