Whenever I have friends in town for a visit (like once, but fuck it that totally qualifies as a trend) I don't pick 'em up, I make then take the RER/Metro. The first thing they always say is "my god the piss stench is overwhelming in the metro" and I just shake my head, smile like an asshole and say "yes, you foolish tourist pig, the Parisian metro doesn't give a cu-de-rat about your precious olfactory system" But they're right, the piss stench cannot be ignored. The kind of smell that blasts you in the face, like when you happen to walk into the public library bathroom right before close, and all the hobos (hobettes??) are in the middle of their toilette. I remember being confronted by similar odors in the NYC subway, but not to the conversational level of Paris. One major source of stink is the metro clodo (French for hobo). While the RATP tries its best to make life difficult for the metro clodo (imaginative seat design, cops with dogs, children) they still manage to set up shop and harass the jerks. And seeing as they couldn't give a fuck about fuck, the metro is one big giant toilet for them. But let's make one thing clear, everyone thinks the metro is a giant toilet at their disposal (old habits die hard). Point is all the old urine flowing through the drain system in the metro makes for a visceral affront to one's nose. Alright it's probably not that bad, compared to a slum after an afternoon rainstorm in the middle of summer, but it's pretty awful.
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By my calculations you've had THREE visitors: the first was Tim followed by me and Lazlo. One more guest and Toronto Life will declare your spare bed the "next big thing" and ruin it forever - like your mattress ruined by ass.
...and by "by ass" I meant my ass.
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