PAIN AU CHOCOLAME

Hollywood mythmakers, French bakers, and Proustian childhood memories have lead people to believe that France is a bastion of hope when it comes to baked good. I won't disagree, but I would like to warn others about the reality of the situation. On my walk to work I pass at least 6 bakeries. Although I haven't been to every single one I'm pretty sure that 75% of them make some weak ass Pain au Chocolat's, or chocolate croissants (pronounced kre-sants) for all y'all erudite readers. How do you know if you've been had? As soon as you bite into the pain you note the dryness, lack of crunch, and overly salty dough. Also note: appearances deceive when it comes to pain au chocolats. Just because it looks small doesn't mean it won't pack that buttery punch you've been searching for. Oh and if it looks a little squashed, odds are you've hit a goldmine, or a butter mine (!)

This video pretty much sums up a everything I just said except it glosses over a few things including: most women running bakeries are fat, old, and rarely smile. There is also very little singing in France, but leisure suits remain the norm.