JUST SPEED IT UP. YOU GOT A HIT!

I went to Value Village today and scored a copy of Chipmunk Punk. Did you know in the olden days they didn't know how to slogan? That's right, they used to refer to the Chipmunks in the following order: Simon, Theodore and Alvin. Or maybe they did it to fuck with your mind, and be all fuck you punk rock about it.

-You may have missed a great job opportunity this week. Luckily I'm here to scour the classifieds and find the gold:

TELEMARKETING METAL HEADS
I am a crazy boss who offers a crazy atmosphere. I am not stuck up just because I have a house, drive a nice car, and have the finer things in life.
I want people who are not normal society, sell-outs who don't want to work for the man, the suits, the people who think they are all that and more.
Come make $1000 a week listening to Slayer with me.
Call now-start now! 416-483-5275 ask for Cutloose

Don't bother calling today, Cutloose is out of the office. Don't worry I'll try my best to keep y'all posted on the Cutloose front - cut to me on the cover of the Sun "DERANGED YUPPIE METAL HEAD SEX CULT BUSTED!"

-Do any of you have any dieting books? Follow diets? I'm kind of fascinated by diets right now, and I'd love to learn more.